Hungry

It was one of the most difficult times in my life. I had people all around me, but I felt alone. I knew God loved me, but I didn't feel His presence with me as strongly as I previously had...and circumstances had worn me down so that I felt like I was only a shadow of myself.

I went to church each week longing to hear from God. My prayer as I sat listening to the message was, "Please speak to me even if it's something I don't want to hear." I craved to hear from God and it didn't matter whether it was something that was comforting (though that would have been nice) or something that would pierce my heart.

I just wanted to hear from Him.


I was hungry.
　


The difficult time passed. I learned several lessons in the storm, and God met all my needs spiritually, emotionally, and physically. I was very grateful to Him.
　
　


Fast forward to today.

Recently, I realized that I don't always approach a message from the pastor or my personal time with God with the same intensity that I did during that difficult time. Oh, I still want God to speak to me and direct my steps. (I even expect to hear from Him.)
　
But I don't always have that same fervent hunger as I did when I was going through the storm.


And I want to.
　
　

How about you?
　
　


　
Father, let me be just as hungry to hear You speak to me in the good times as I am in the difficult days I go through. Help me to step into church, and into my own personal times with You, with an eager, open heart ...ready to accept both comfort and correction from You. Give me a hunger to hear Your word, read Your word, and live out Your word in my life each day. And let the words that I hear and read, through your Holy Spirit, change me...change my life...and mold me into the person You intended for me to be so that I bring honor to You. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.
　


"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled." Matt. 5:6
　
　
　


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Sometimes I . . .

Sometimes I wanna feel small
Standing in front of a vast, roaring ocean
that You created
Wind blowing my hair as if You'd brushed it
from my face with Your hand

Sometimes I wanna feel alone
With only You beside me
Pouring out my deepest thoughts
to You
With no one else around to hear
And my heart ready to listen to what You
have to say back to me

Sometimes I wanna kneel before You
With head bowed and hands raised
in thanksgiving for the many blessings You've
graciously poured in my life
So many wonderful things that I in no way deserve
But gratefully and joyfully receive

Sometimes I wanna be more than
who I am today
To live my life for You in
some spectacular way
But all I can do is say, "Thank You,"
And mean it with all of my heart
　


"It is good to give thanks to the Lord, and to sing praises to Your name, O Most High."
Ps. 92:1
　
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The Last Day

As soon as I finished saying the words, I wished I could have taken them back.


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It was the last day of school. I had given some gifts to my students. Among them was a small tablet of paper. A couple of students immediately started writing as soon as they received theirs. A few minutes later, a thank you note was given to me--written on paper from the tablet. We went on about our day and just as it was time to clean up and leave for the year, I quickly scanned the insides of the desks once again to make sure everything was out and no one had left anything behind. When I noticed a piece of paper in the desk of the other student who had been writing I said, "Please take out everything in your desk." As soon as I finished saying the words, I wished I could have taken them back because just as I completed my sentence, I realized that the student didn't accidentally leave the paper in his desk, rather he was carefully placing the paper inside so that I would find it after he had left. (Ever left a note for someone that you didn't want them to read until you were gone? I have.) Anyway, he obediently took the paper out and I felt horrible. As we walked out the door, he handed the paper to me. I couldn't help reading it before he left even though he had intended for me to see it after he was gone. I won't say everything he said, but he told me he had a great year in my class. I smiled and told him it had been great having him in my class and his face lit up. (Smile. God worked it out even though I had ruined his surprise.)

Later, I read his note again and it brought tears (joyful tears!) to my eyes. Sometimes you never know what effect your life has on another. His words were a blessing to me. I'm glad he decided to share his thoughts.


How about you?
　
Anybody you need to tell that they've made a difference in your life?
　

You don't need a fancy gift to thank them. You don't even need a sparkly card.

A plain sheet of notebook paper will do just fine.

Or words said face to face.
　


In whatever way you decide to let them know, I bet it will be a blessing to them.


　
　
I know it was to me.
　



　
"What a joy it is to find just the right word for the right occasion!" Prov. 15:23
　
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Sometimes...Always

Sometimes.

　
Sometimes you can try your very best...

and still come up short.
　

A marriage failed.

You blew it as a model parent.

One of your customers/clients is upset with you.

Your lifelong dream didn't pan out.

Downsizing left you without a job.

A friendship you treasured came to an end.

...and a myriad of other difficult, heartbreaking situations.
　


But through it all, remember that in the midst of your “sometimes”, God is always there.

He knows exactly what you’re going through, and He will give you the strength you need to navigate the twisting, unexpected paths that our lives often take.

He will listen to you, love you, and help you through whatever comes your way.
　

You may feel His presence...and you may not.

But He is there.
　
　

Always.
　
　



“Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.” 1 Pet. 5:7
　

“You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” Ps. 56:8
　
　

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Words

I just finished a post for this blog. It was honest, from the heart...it poured easily from my mind to my fingers as I typed because the feelings behind the words have been on my heart for quite some time...but it was too personal to post. (At least right now.)

Sometimes words are like that. Too personal to tell someone you don't know well...or too personal to have people on the internet read them. Some words are reserved for our close circle of friends only.

And it's good to know the difference.



At some point, I may share what I wrote. But not today.

Today, I will trust that God knows my heart. He knows the thoughts behind my words. He knows the deepest parts inside me that need His loving touch.

He knows you, too. He knows your heart, your thoughts, your emotions, your hurts, your dreams, your hopes, your fears...He knows everything about you and He loves you.

He will be with you in whatever situation you find yourself in at this very moment.

Talk to Him now.



He's listening.





"O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord. You hem me in--behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast." Psalm 139: 1-10



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A Moment in Time

My students gasped and pointed as they looked up. I turned to look at what had their attention.


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *


We were at PE that day. In the middle of our lesson, my students' attention was clearly not on me or the skill we were working on. I heard them gasp and saw them point at something overhead. Our school is near an airport. We aren't all that far from military bases. Blimps often are in our area. Helicopters fly over all the time. I thought maybe a low flying craft was coming our way.

I turned around, looked up, and saw....a seagull.
　

A lone, white seagull gliding through the air with wings spread against a bright blue sky.
　

We all stopped and stared at the magnificence of it.
　


And I smiled and LOVED that my students were captivated by the simple beauty of a seagull soaring on the breeze.


I pray they always see the wonder in the world around them.
　



How about you?

Life is busy. It's so easy to miss the beauty that God has allowed us to enjoy on earth.

Have you really looked at the world lately?
　

Today, take a minute to enjoy the things around you. Let your eyes linger on a lovely sunset. Look at the elegance of a flower. Enjoy the smell of a freshly mown lawn. Listen for the soft chirping of birds. Gaze at the snow on a mountaintop. Admire the twinkling stars overhead at night.


Find the wonder in the world around you.


And then breathe a prayer of thanks to God for letting us be blessed with such beauty.
　
　
　
　
　
For the Beauty of the Earth
song lyrics by Folliot S. Pierpoint


For the beauty of the earth
For the glory of the skies,
For the love which from our birth
Over and around us lies.

Refrain
Lord of all, to Thee we raise,
This our hymn of grateful praise.
　


The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of His hands.
Ps. 19:1
　


　
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Kate McRae

Please pray for little Kate McRae and her family. Her story can be found below.

Such a brave little girl.

Such a wonderful family.

May God give them all the strength they need, peace as they travel this part of their journey, and the healing they seek.

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/mcraekate/journal



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Forgiveness

I feel awful. I think I may have hurt someone's feelings. Usually, I can just go to the person that I've hurt and apologize and ask for forgiveness. This time, I can't do that. (Trust me; if I could, I would. The reasons why I can't are too private to discuss on an internet blog.) It isn't a pride issue. I would much rather go apologize for something I've done than to have both of us feeling awful about it. If I could, I would pick up the phone right now and apologize and ask for forgiveness....

But I can't.

So I am left with the awful feeling of knowing I may have hurt someone I love and respect...

...And with the reminder that, though I did not mean anything AT ALL in a derogatory way toward this person (my words were actually aimed at myself about a particular thing), that through the ears of another, a different meaning may become attached to my words and shared with others.

I pray that God will work it all out so this person knows the true intent of my words...and that she will know that I think highly of her and care about her.

And for me, I pray that I will more closely watch the words I say so that I don't hurt others.



And in a similar instance, I typed something on my blog a little while ago that may have been misunderstood. Part of the reason I wrote it was because I was grateful that a certain person went out of their way to smile and make me feel valued in a circumstance that was somewhat overwhelming....but I’m afraid that I didn’t convey the true meaning of what I wanted to say. So if you’re reading this, please know how grateful I am that you have gone out of your way to be kind and to smile at me at times that you have known were difficult for me.

I do notice.

And I am deeply grateful.


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Edit: God worked this all out the very next day after I posted this.

Sweet forgiveness.

Peaceful heart.

Thankful for the way God works things out in my life.

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Haiti

Please pray for the people of Haiti during this difficult time.

If you are interested in helping those in Haiti, you can make a $10 donation to the Red Cross by texting "Haiti" to 90999. You can also make a $10 donation to Compassion International by texting "Disaster" to 90999.

Thank you for any help you can give. Each one doing a little adds up to a lot.

The Little Things

I think most of us want to make our world a better place. Many of us ask ourselves what we can do to impact those around us. We sometimes look for "big" things to do. But I think when everything is said and done, it's the "little" things we'll remember the most. Those personal contacts that make our lives a little brighter each day.

The smile of one who passes by us.

A heart to heart talk with a trusted friend.

The hand on a shoulder of one who is hurting.

Sharing laughter with those around us.

An unexpected kiss on your cheek.

The touch of someone's hand on your arm as you speak.

A hug to welcome or comfort another.

Encouragement given to one who is discouraged.

Loving words in a letter to a friend.

As we go through life, the "big" things are important. We need people who can donate sizable amounts of money to various causes, start foundations, and such. But remember that the "little" things are important, too. The loving actions of others are often held dearly in our memories for years.

Do the "big" things if you can. But don't forget about the "little" things.


Turns out they're not so little after all.

"This is My commandment that you love one another as I have loved you." John 15:12


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I Know Not

The note lay in his hand extended to me.

"My sister wants me to ask you if you can give this to ________ so they can ask their kids to go to the car wash."

It wasn't just any car wash.

The money was going to be used to bury several young people.

An under-age joy ride taken.

The ultimate price paid.

A mother alone.

So many hearts broken.

Emotion welled up inside me and I blinked back the tears that stung my eyes. My student's own eyes swam with tears as he looked up at me. For a moment, we both thought of the ones who, at such a young age, had left this life.


A holy moment.

Felt Your presence, God.



Please comfort those who grieve.


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Those words were written some time ago. Not sure why I thought of them tonight.

Perhaps the mother is feeling especially lonely right now. Perhaps others have recently experienced a similar pain...

All in need of prayer.


I know not why the words came to mind so frequently at this particular time.

But I know God can take my prayers and send comfort where it's needed.


And so I pray...

For those who cry in the night...

Weeping for loved ones they hold no more.




"You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in Your bottle. You have recorded each one in Your book." Ps. 56:8


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